Sometimes you’re the bug

(As opposed to the windshield that turns the bug into a little smear in a driver’s line of sight.)

I should be working.  I’m taking a moment to lament the fact that things don’t always go well.  (Not that I can really complain about my life, because it really is pretty good, but, ya know…I still do.)

Anyway.  Yesterday I tried stand-up paddle boarding.  It was pretty fun, but I think my sole purpose in the class was to make everyone else look good.  They offered to let everyone practice falling in at the start of the class, but I knew I didn’t need to bother with that because it would be only a matter of time until I legitimately fell in.  And I did.

Three times.

If you can flip a kayak that’s supposed to be incredibly difficult to flip, you can most assuredly flip a paddle board.  But it was a nice day, so worth it to just be outside for a few hours.

Still.  I was in search of some new hobby to stir my interest and I don’t think that was it.

And today, even though it’s only 11:30 in the morning, feels like one of those rejection-filled days.  I awoke to a second round rejection of a short story.  Last time I made it to the second round with this market they rejected me the next day, so I kind of had some hopes for this one since it lasted three weeks past the bump.  But no.

That’s ok.  I’d decided the story needs a new title anyway, so this gives me a chance to do that.

And I got a rejection from an agent today.  Not unexpected.  And nicely prompt.  But still a rejection.

So, it’s a day of feeling like the bug despite all the awesomeness in my life.  (I get to work from home, I bizarrely still have work to do, I have my health, my remaining family has their health, etc., etc.)

The key, for me, is to own that some days just feel like ugh and move forward.  (And to know that this writing thing is just going to be a long, slow slog.)

About M. H. Lee

M.H. Lee is a speculative fiction writer currently residing in Colorado whose stories are sometimes dark, sometimes funny, sometimes darkly funny, but hopefully always thought-provoking and entertaining.
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