I received an e-mail last night that pretty much ruined my day. (Fortunately, I actually read it at about ten to midnight, so it only really ruined from midnight to 2 AM when I was laying in bed unable to sleep because of it.) It’s not a writing-related e-mail, but it is life related.
Compared to some of the bad news I’ve received in my life it’s probably not even in the top ten, but it’s up there. (And if the follow-up to the e-mail is what I think it’s going to be, it’ll make my current top ten.) (And hopefully stay there for a while. I don’t need things to happen to push it down the list. Really, that’s ok.)
Anyway. I’m in a funk because of that damned e-mail and it made me realize that I’m very spoiled in the sense that I’m not used to not getting what I want. (Wow, lovely writing this morning…)
I am used to having to work my butt off to get what I want.
The last two years of college were NOT easy. (Set yourself on a path that requires taking a full course load each quarter and passing every single class while working full-time and you can’t expect it to be easy.) But I got through.
I didn’t fail a class and have to add it to another quarter. I did lose my job, but turns out I had vacation I’d accrued over almost two years and it was close enough to the end of school to not matter. (And added bonus: it got me away from that creepy co-worker of mine. Ugh.)
What I’m not used to is things not actually going to plan at the end of the day.
So, I’m cranky and annoyed this morning, because something I really, really wanted is very likely not going to happen. And I kinda feel like a spoiled child because I WANT IT. And I want it NOW damn it. I’ve been working on this for two frickin’ years. Grrr.
Anyway. Time to take a deep breath and write one hell of a killer e-mail back, because it is way too early to give up on this entirely.
And, since this was a worthless post for anyone except me…Let’s see if I can’t share a few fun links with you for sticking with it to the end:
David Kazzie’s “So You Want to Write a Novel” video (Yeah, I know, I’m like the last person on the planet to see it. But it’s funny as can be, so watch it again.)
Chip Kidd on the Anatomy of Book Cover Design (I love this man. I didn’t know anything about him until I watched this video, but he’s fantastic and fabulous. And makes you really think about book cover designs.)
And, last but certainly not least, a little Hayibo humor for the non-video-watching folks: Antichrist discovered on long-haul flight, screams for 11 hours
(Oh – and I may not post for the next three days. Writing conference and all…)
While I can’t say whether or not I can relate entirely, having not read your email myself, I know exactly what you mean. I work- hard- for what I want and what I have. Sometimes you just feel so defeated when things blow up in your face in spite of your best efforts. I’m having one of those weeks myself; I think the only real solution is to just keep on going and hope it works out eventually.
Well, here’s hoping for both of us that things turn around.
And, you’re right, the only solution is to just keep going, because giving up now would mean sure defeat…
Aww, I hope everything turns out alright. I just received some bad news myself today. Looks like I might have to move…mid December. Guess who had to cancel Christmas plans?
Thanks Lizzy. Fingers crossed this works itself out. Sucks to have to move during the holidays – hope it’s for a good reason at least.